Through My Glasses

I can't exactly remember when it was that I penned down my first list of things I wanted in my man/spouse. It was a long time ago (I think in my teen years) and I had just read this book that laid a lot of emphasis on writing down our expectations and desires. So, I took out a book and started writing... Omo, come see list. I wrote and wrote and wrote and asked for extra sheets. The guy had to be this and that and these and those. He had to have A and B and C and D. He had to do X, Y and Z. He mustn't do I, J, K, L and H. I wouldn't tolerate Q, U, V and W. The list went on and on and on.... In the entire list I wrote, there wasn't a single line that listed what I would bring to the table. In fact, it never occurred to me that I had to be bringing something too. I took it for granted that the damn guy would consider himself lucky that he was considered in the first place...lol. Chai, the things we think and do as kids. Thank God I sha received sense on time. And thank Go...

Those who really know me know that I am actually a very private person. Forget my social media persona, I am really really PRIVATE. Yea, that private, especially with regards to affairs de Coeur. I have had people badger me to death to regale them with tales about who 'the lucky guy' is. When I post messages on relationships or love, the next thing that follows is a flurry of messages into my FB inbox and other social media platforms, asking for details. Some people assume that my posts on love and relationships are actually a cryptic message for HIM. Of course, I always play coy. Or at worst, I give them a simple LOL or its emoji equivalent. (We all know that lol is the easiest way to knock off a question you don't wanna answer. What? You didn't know? Ngwa, write 'thank you' on the comment section sharply). Anyways, back to the flaunting of relationships on social media. In simple terms, I am not a fan. I have said it severally on this platform that the only p...

I met *Kane at a conference in Port Harcourt two years ago and we hit it off immediately. He was one of the speakers at the event and I was impressed with how he infused Christian perspectives to youth political engagement. I sought him out during the meet and greet and complimented him on an excellent presentation. We exchanged contacts and that was the beginning of our friendship. He was a Christian Youth Leader in the headquarters of his church and in his words, ‘a crazy Jesus lover who couldn’t imagine a life without Jesus’. I was impressed really. It wasn’t every day one met extremely good looking young men who weren’t ashamed to profess Jesus as their Lord and Savior. A few months into our friendship, Kane wanted us to begin dating. I didn’t think it was a bad idea. He was an enterprising, cute and intelligent young man who loved the Lord. Some feminine part of me was already ‘husband-zoning’ him. I totally saw him fitting that role perfectly. I am however not the sort of person...

Gender equality (n): a social order in which men and women share the same opportunities and the same constraints in the economic, social and political realms of life. One week after the world celebrated the International Women’s Day 2016 tagged, ‘Pledge For Parity’, a Bill for an Act To Incorporate And Enhance Certain Provisions Of The United Nations Convention On The Elimination of All Forms Of Discrimination Against Women, The Protocol To The African Charter On Human And People’s Rights On The Rights Of Women in Africa And Other Matters (popularly known as the Gender and Equal Opportunity Bill), sponsored by Senator Abiodun Olujimi, who represents Ekiti South Senatorial District was presented on the floor of the Nigerian senate for its second reading. The bill seeks equal rights for women in marriage, education and job. It also seeks to open up discussion on issues around women’s right with regards to girl child education, economic activity, equal rights in marriage, divorce, l...

There is a new trend in town. This new trend is called public and very elaborate marriage proposals. Almost anyone who is anyone in love has done it. Kanye West proposed to Kim Kardashian in a baseball stadium replete with pyrotechnics, a Jumbotron, and a 90-piece orchestra—with the exclusive film rights going to E! for Kim's reality show   Keeping Up With the Kardashians .    Littered all over various social media platforms are pictures and videos of lavish marriage proposals. These images and videos will have you struggling to catch your breath from the overwhelming emotions of them all.  In this day and time, it’s not just enough to propose to a lady. You must do so with all the accompanying glitz, glamor and photo shoot in three continents with amazing themes to boot. And don’t forget, the story must find its to BellaNaija.  Girl, are you crazy? You didn’t know? Don’t you know you aren’t engaged unless  the soppy story of how you met boo and how h...

Monday, March 7th, 2015, my colleague and I ran into Senate Conference Room 022, New Building, National Assembly Complex, venue of the Frivolous Petitions Bill, 2015 (SB. 143) public hearing organized by the Senate Committee on Judiciary, Human Rights, and Legal Matters. The Frivolous Petitions Bill, An Act To Prohibit Frivolous Petitions And Other Matters (popularly known as the Social Media Bill) is a controversial bill sponsored by Senator Bala Ibn Na’Allah of the All Progressives Congress (APC). The bill seeks to prohibit frivolous petitions intended to report the conduct of any person of an investigation, inquiry or inquest without a duly sworn affidavit. What this means is that anyone submitting a petition to the government must have an accompanying affidavit sworn in the High Court of a State or the Federal High Court. There has been public outcry since the Bill passed the second reading on the floor of the Senate on December 8th, 2015. This is not unrelated to parts of the B...

I hate time wasters. I understand that time is very precious so I really hate to have someone waste my time. If anyone's gonna waste my time, I'd rather it be me. That way, I know I have only me to blame. Out of all types of time- wasters that exist, the relationship time wasters to me are the worst. I am not a relationship expert but I do know that I have met quite a few in my lifetime (I was one at a point in my life, so yeah, I know a thing a thing or two about relationship time wasting). Relationship time wasters blow neither hot or cold. You can't tell where you stand per time. Are you in a committed relationship? Are you single? What exactly are you doing? You are never quite sure. It's just a horrible ride on an emotional roller coaster. These are the kinds our Igbo people call 'mmadu ibu ogbenye, burukwa amusu. Stay committed to a relationship, mba. Ngwanu, stay clear so serious people go see way enter, mba. Hian o. The thing about relationship ...

The Youth Initiative for Advocacy, Growth and Advancement (YIAGA), in partnership with the Open Society Initiative for West Africa (OSIWA), officially launched the Young Legislators Accountability Project (#YLAPNG) on Wednesday, January 13 th , 2015. The media launch which took place at the Sheraton Hotels and Towers Abuja, had in attendance young legislators from Nigeria’s National Assembly, representatives of media organizations, civil society and youth groups, development partners, as well as representatives of government agencies.  Speaking at the event with the theme: ‘Building A New Social Contract, Forging Effective Relationship Between Legislators And Constituents, Samson Itodo, YIAGA’s Head Research, Policy and Advocacy, stated that #YLAPNG was developed, ‘to deepen democratic accountability and bridge the gap between the constituents and the legislature in the 8 th National Assembly’. He also highlighted the four pillars of #YLAPNG as legislative support, legisl...

‘Oya spill it babe. Who is the lucky guy?’ ‘Lucky guy ke. Actually, I’m not dating’. ‘Huh? Not dating? What happened? Who broke your heart?’ ‘Broke my heart? No one did. I just don’t want to date right now’. ‘Don’t want to date right now? You are not getting younger o. You have been saying this for the past 5 years. I wonder what you are waiting for. You are a graduate. You are working. You are a fine babe. You should start considering marriage o. Time waits for no one. Or, are you a lesbian?’ ‘Lesbian? How could you even think that?’ ‘How can’t I? When a beautiful girl of marriageable age says she doesn’t want to date right now, one has to ask questions. It’s either your taste and standard in men are too high, or you are a lesbian or you are sleeping around with men without commitment. Which is it?’ ‘So someone can’t just be single without being a lesbian, whore or some greedy fellow with unrealistic standards. Must everyone marry? I’m not ready to date right...

Earlier this month, I took my first trip ever outside the shores of Nigeria. The media organization I work with was one of the official media partners of the 4 th African Union High Level Dialogue on Democracy, Human Rights and Governance in Africa which took place in the beautiful city of Kigali, Rwanda. And yours truly was assigned to cover the event. On arrival in Kigali, myself and some other participants were taken to Lemigo Hotel, which would be our abode for the next couple of days. After a lot of waiting around, I was finally given the key card to my room- 223. My room was very beautiful. It had a queen-size bed, beautiful lounge chair and overlooked a breathtaking landscape. Room 223 was perfect except for a couple of things: 1)    It was smaller than other rooms in the part of hotel undergoing refurbishment. 2)    Most of the delegates at the conference had their rooms in the new building still under construction. Hence, I felt isolated fr...