SAY SOMETHING

Earlier this month, I took my first trip ever outside the shores of Nigeria. The media organization I work with was one of the official media partners of the 4^th African Union High Level Dialogue on Democracy, Human Rights and Governance in Africa which took place in the beautiful city of Kigali, Rwanda. And yours truly was assigned to cover the event.

On arrival in Kigali, myself and some other participants were taken to Lemigo Hotel, which would be our abode for the next couple of days. After a lot of waiting around, I was finally given the key card to my room- 223.

My room was very beautiful. It had a queen-size bed, beautiful lounge chair and overlooked a breathtaking landscape. Room 223 was perfect except for a couple of things:

1)   It was smaller than other rooms in the part of hotel undergoing refurbishment.

2)   Most of the delegates at the conference had their rooms in the new building still under construction. Hence, I felt isolated from everyone else.

3)   It had no bed side electric socket. The only socket in the room was at the other end of the room. This meant that I couldn’t work with my laptop or phone from the comfort of my bed. If I had to use my electronic gadgets while they were charging, I had to do so sitting on the floor.

4)   The TV wasn’t facing the bed so I had to sit on the lounge chair in a corner of the room if I wanted to enjoy a few minutes of television. Watching TV shouldn’t be that serious, please.

At the outset, I didn’t think points 1 and 3 were much of a problem till I dropped by my colleague’s room in the new building on the hotel grounds. I gasped in disbelief. Compared to his, my room was ghetto with a capital G! 

Many times, I wondered if I could ask for another room but I always backed out at the last minute. After fighting the feeling of resentment I was starting to have over the room situation, I decided to do what I usually did in such situations: I sucked it up. I figured that the room wasn’t that bad and staying in it for 5 days wouldn’t kill me.

Indeed it didn’t. I enjoyed my stay in Kigali and made the most of room 223. In no time, the 5 days were up and I proceeded to check out of the room. As is their culture in Lemigo Hotel, a porter came up to help me carry my luggage. He asked me in his broken English if I enjoyed my stay in the hotel.

I used that opportunity to unleash all the complaints I had about the room and he quietly asked, ‘why you not say something?’

Huh? Say something?

He explained that if I had found the room beneath my taste, the hotel could have given me another room. He further said that even if there weren’t available rooms, the hotel could have at least provided me with extension cables so I could use my electronic gadgets comfortably.

Chai. Just negodu.

At that point, I felt like crying. I also felt like slapping myself silly as I thought about all the nights I sat on the floor so I could have my computer plugged to a socket. I thought about the pain I had developed in my neck from sitting on a not-so-comfortable sofa. I thought about my colleague’s room and the fact that I could have had something similar if I had just said something. I rued the missed opportunities I had to speak out. I wanted those opportunities back but of course, they were gone.

Most of us underestimate the power of asking for something or speaking out. Asking is a powerful thing. You can ask for things like information, money, job or in my case, a simple change of room. The Bible puts it this way: ‘Ask and you shall receive’. With human beings, you have no guarantee that you will have what you ask for, but if you don’t ask, if you don’t speak up, you will never know.

If you want more out of life, you must learn to ask for it. So many times, we want something but we sit back and say nothing, especially when something really needs to be said. It could be an idea, a suggestion, an observation, a criticism or it could be you telling that girl that you like her and asking if she could be in a relationship with you. It could also be that girl walking up to that charming brother and asking for his number, and heck, even inviting him out for dinner.

Many people are dying inside with so much love, passion, ideas, information that ought to be shared simply because they find it difficult to say something. Some others assume that what they want is obvious. No darling, you can’t assume the obvious is obvious. If you wait around for people to notice or read your mind, you’ll likely be on some loooong thing.

Roger Ellerton said, ‘Ask for what you want. Give other people the opportunity to say ‘yes’. Stop saying ‘no’ for them’.

I’m going to paraphrase that to read, ‘Ask for what you want. Give other people the opportunity to say ‘no’. Don’t be presumptuous.’

I am an expert in doing things for myself. I have a huge challenge with speaking up for my needs. Too often, I have ignored or been passive about my needs, an act that often ‘metamorphosizes’ into resentment and frustration. Truly, that is not a healthy way to live. So, I am dropping that passive attitude right now. It’s not going with me into 2016 (no, this is not a New Year resolution).

 Going forward, if I want something, I will ask for it. If I am uncomfortable with something, I will not hide it. For whatever it is worth, I will speak up. If I like someone, I will tell them. (to be fair, I often do but they never take me seriously….lol. Story for another day)

P.S: All those fine brothers I have been eyeing, if I speak up biko give me audience.

Ehe, and those other fine brothers eyeing me, chai, chai, will you keep kwayet? *In Dame Patience Jonathan’s Voice* Will you allow 2015 to end? Say something….hehehehehe.

Merry Christmas family. Lots of love from me to you. Kizzes! *In Fahlz’ voice*