WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

An article on www.memefest.org titled ‘LoveAbuse’ has the following as its opening lines:

Love: the strongest driving force on the planet.

The most abused word in use today.

The most inspiring mysterious concept.

I agree totally with the second line. Lots of things get abused in the world today but I think this four letter word l-o-v-e easily takes top spot, without question.

The evil and stupid things we do in the name of love are absolutely baffling. People blow up places and butcher people into tiny little bloody pieces because of the love they have for a deity. People abuse and maim those they say they love in the name of love. Love is often the reason given when a jealous lover disfigures the object of his/her love with undiluted acid. They love them too much to let them go, they say. People stay in toxic relationships because they are in love and do not want to be alone.

It is this same love that makes two people with incompatible genotypes to take the risky decision to get married.

And many times, those who take this decision to get married, knowing that they have incompatible genotypes, do so on the altar of faith or plain ignorance. On faith, they say:

God can do all things.

God is in the business of doing wonders.

I know so and so and so whose genotype was changed during so and so crusade.

If you believe, all things are possible.

I have faith that if we get married, we won’t have kids with Sickle Cell Anaemia.

Miracles happen.

God will prove himself faithful. I have strong faith…

You know, we are funny people. We won’t jump off a high building to prove we have faith. We won’t shake someone with the Ebola virus because we have faith that we won’t contract the virus. Who wants to die? Hell, many of us won’t even marry people without sleeping with them. Even though this is an opportunity for us to exercise that great faith we have in God that he won’t shortchange us in the bedroom department, we choose to jump and pass on that abstinence nonsense. Nah, we don’t trust God that much. We must test to be sure everything is functioning at optimum capacity.

But here we are; we want to marry someone whose genotype isn’t compatible with ours but ‘we trust God’ for some miracle so as not to have kids with SS genotype.

Now for those who are quick to say that miracles happen and that genotype change, I got one question for you. What is the percentage of these people? What is the statistics of people whose genotypes have changed at a crusade or because a pastor prayed?

What is the percentage of those who took the risk to marry and escaped having kids with sickle cell? What are the numbers? And just so you know, Science has cured more people than the power of God has healed people. God is behind these medical breakthroughs. He cannot give people these revelations if He doesn’t intend for them to be used.

Just before you accuse me of heresy, let me state categorically clear that I don’t doubt the power of God. I am a firm believer in God and the miraculous. But as my pastor says: God designed the world to operate based on principles, not miracles. Miracles are like promos. They happen once in a while.

The principle upon which the world is founded and upon which it functions is cause and effect. That is, sowing and reaping. If you consciously take some decisions, you should be willing to live with the consequences of your decision.

How many of you will confidently enter a vehicle knowing it has no brakes, but believe God for safe arrival, because you have faith? Huh? How many? No matter the urgency of your trip, once you learn the brake of the car isn’t functioning, you will wait for another vehicle to take you to your destination.

I know God can do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or imagine (including changing SS to AA or preventing SS birth). But God never said He will do all we ask or imagine. CAN and WILL do not mean the same thing. Whereas ‘Will’ expresses certainty, ‘Can’ shows possibility. Simple English grammar. So have this in mind the next time you use that scripture to justify your foolishness on the altar of faith.

About ignorance, I can’t even deal with this one. There should be strict laws to punish adults who get married without checking their genotype and end up having kids with Sickle Cell Anaemia. This is 2016. How can two people be liking themselves and investing emotions upandan without finding out the other person’s genotype? If you have Sickle Cell trait (AS Genotype), the first thing you discuss isn’t how Mr A or Miss B makes you feel. The first thing is to enquire about their genotype. And if it is incompatible with yours, kindly and quietly move on. How difficult is this really?

I suffer from a migraine. On the days the pain is really insane, I literally feel like cutting off my head to have some respite. I also know my mum suffers from this type of a headache once in a while but I don’t know if mine is hereditary.

I know that no matter how bad or excruciatingly painful the migraine I have may be, it doesn’t come close to a Sickle Cell Anaemia crisis. So after every migraine attack, I  go through a cycle of deep worry. I worry that I may pass on this migraine to my kids. I get scared each time and hate that I have a migraine in the first place. Of course, I have no way of knowing this ahead of time until I have my kids. But believe me, if all I had to do to prevent my kids from ever having migraine was to avoid marrying someone with a certain genotype, I would do it without batting an eyelid. No question asked.  No amount of being in love will make me gamble the future of my kids.

Why then do those who have the AS genotype choose to gamble on the future of their kids and the quality of their lives because of love? What’s love got to do with common sense?

We often get love twisted. Love isn’t about you or what you feel. Love is about those you say you love- your unborn children included. If you and your partner have the AS genotype and you insist on getting married, you must think twice about the decision to start a family. To go ahead without considering the impact of that decision on your unborn children is to be selfish. No matter how deep and strong your love is, seeing your child (ren) in constant pain puts enormous strain on the best of relationships. And if I were your child, I would hate you with everything I am because you chose to subject me to a life of constant pain and in most cases premature death. What is loving about that?

On a final note, faith is not a substitute for wisdom. As a matter of fact, God places more premium on wisdom. In his Holy Book, He said ‘Wisdom’ not ‘Faith’ is the principal (main) thing. It’s time for us to stop encouraging foolishness on the altar of faith, join hands together and kick out Sickle Cell Anaemia.

NB: Thanks to Stephanie Odera Okwu for prompting this article.

XoXo

NAWTIProf

*Picture credit: www.psychologicalscience.org