HAIR CHRONICLES




I walked into a store today and the store owner, a young man that looked to be in his 30s couldn’t stop staring at my hair.

This guy was oohing and aahing at “how well cut my hair was” and how it “brought out my true African facial features”.

He loved the “natural boldness” with which I rocked my hair and wished he knew when next I was going to get a haircut so he could pay for it. Interestingly, his wife is also on a low cut. He went as far as calling her up to tell her that he was sending her a picture of a haircut she would be interested in. He said his wife enjoyed trying out different haircuts the way a professional chef enjoyed trying out recipes.

I was amused at such obsession with haircuts and he said I wouldn’t understand. Of course, there was no way I would but I thanked him for all the attention, paid for what I bought and walked out of his shop.

I walked into the shop next door, barely 10 steps from the previous shop and the reaction to my hair style by this store owner, another young guy who also looked to be in his 30s, was as different as night is from the day, and totally unexpected.

“Nne why you cut ya hair”? He asked in his thick, unmistakable Enugu accent, while I waited for his sales boy to get a PoS machine so I could pay for what I bought.

“I love the feel of cold water on my skull every morning. And besides, it’s more cost effective o. One less thing to worry about jare ”.

“Ah, mba nu. Fine geh like you? Oga dey na. Let him worry about that one. But, wait o, don’t you know that the beauty of a woman is her hair? What does oga hold on to when you people have fun? If my woman dares cut her hair like this, it’s over between us. O naa. I can’t have my woman looking like a man. Let her be a woman with her long hair. That’s how it’s meant to be”.

“My own hair kwa”?

“Nne it’s not only your hair o. Once oga is involved, it’s his hair and you can’t just cut it”.

I remember having a good laugh during the course of this conversation. Somehow, I couldn’t even get annoyed at how assuming and totally intrusive this guy was. Maybe it’s the acceptance that most Nigerians will always dish out unsolicited advice, after giving you their opinions on what is most often than not, clearly none of their business. If anything, I observed again how true it is that one man’s meat is another’s poison.

Two men.

10 feet apart.

Two totally different views on women’s hair.

If I had sought hair advice from the second guy, I would have gone away believing that my low cut hair is the reason I haven’t taken a suitor home to my mother. If I had listened to the first guy only, I would have assumed men despised Peruvian-hair wearing, faces continually on fleek girls and that the only girls fit to be wives have to have hair like Lupita Nyong’o.

You see, everything in life is a matter of choice. There is no one size fit all anywhere. As people are different, so are their tastes, biases, choices and wants. There is always going to be something wrong about you for the person whose standards you don’t meet. It isn’t you, it’s them.

The wise thing to do isn’t to attempt to change them or try to live up to those unrealistically, inhuman standards even if they kill you. The wise thing to do is to let them be with their choices.

Ultimately, you have to live life on your terms and allow people either accept you the way you are or let you be for the person who does. For the person who wants and chooses to be with you, you will be enough. Those flaws you hate, the quirks about you that others or even you find irritating, those little details that make you who you are, will be just what this person can’t do without.

You won’t need to bleach your skin because you heard Igbo men like yellow women. Neither will you need to inject a poisonous substance into your bum because you heard Yoruba men like their women to either go big backward or go home. You won’t even need to dash into Wuse market to buy a wig because you heard that men don’t like bald women. You will be unapologetically you, in all your glorious, god-given essence and You. Will. Be. More. Than. Enough.

The loud mouthed guy in Wuse market didn’t know he taught me a big life lesson when he criticized my short hair. What came off as criticism carried with it, wisdom nugget for everyday living.


*Photo Credit: http://www.stylepantry.com

Comments

  1. Ultimately, you have to live life on your terms...

    And Fabulous Hair says HELLO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh hiya back, Fabulous hair. Long time no hear

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. That's right. That's always the best bet

      Delete
  3. Real Fact!!!! Beauty of life, great lesson!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Christ! I love you lady... On my wall, am gonna tell you what i learnt from this write-up... You are awesome

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love you right back girl. Waiting to read your post *e-hugs*

      Delete
    2. You just spoke to my heart this night.. Those quirky things i don't like about me? He loves them all and am still wondering why... Smiles...

      Delete
    3. Awwww. So sweet. Good luck to you both

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  5. Be unapologetically you, and there will be someone who will give anything to be with that you.

    ReplyDelete

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