MY ISSUES WITH SOCIAL MEDIA DISPLAY OF LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

Those who really know me know that I am actually a very private person. Forget my social media persona, I am really really PRIVATE. Yea, that private, especially with regards to affairs de Coeur.

I have had people badger me to death to regale them with tales about who 'the lucky guy' is. When I post messages on relationships or love, the next thing that follows is a flurry of messages into my FB inbox and other social media platforms, asking for details. Some people assume that my posts on love and relationships are actually a cryptic message for HIM.

Of course, I always play coy. Or at worst, I give them a simple LOL or its emoji equivalent. (We all know that lol is the easiest way to knock off a question you don't wanna answer. What? You didn't know? Ngwa, write 'thank you' on the comment section sharply).

Anyways, back to the flaunting of relationships on social media. In simple terms, I am not a fan. I have said it severally on this platform that the only person I will publicly flaunt is my husband. Not boyfriend. Not fiance. That's my personal opinion about it. It doesn't mean that I don't love whoever I am dating per time. It's just that I don't need to make a drama about my relationship. Flaunting relationships on Social Media is not proof that I love boo more or less. These days it would seem that love is not real unless it is plastered on social media. SMH. To be honest, I am even having second thoughts about flaunting the husband sef. Lol. I believe that one's relationship is his/her private business.

That is not to say that those who turn their relationships into social media Telemundo with daily episodes of what they and their significant others are up to are in the wrong. It is their life. It is their choice. Either way, it is their business. And I enjoy reading their love stories and liking/commenting on their loved up pics. Lol.

There are several reasons I am not a fan of flaunting relationships on social media. By relationships in this case, I am referring to unmarried relationships (boyfriending & girlfriending/ fianceing & fianceeing ). In order not to waste anyone's time (remember I said I hated time wasting and time wasters? Ehe, I like to think I practice what I preach) I will give you just 3 reasons why social media flaunting of relationships is a no-no for me:

1) Flaunting Relationships On Social Media Opens It up To Public Scrutiny :

I believe that relationship should be something private, not public. Believe it or not, by the time you update that Facebook status to "in a relationship with XYZ", the vultures start swooping down. Some will turn into private investigators and all your village people will start poke nosing- some in a tactful manner, others in an I-no-send-you manner. A guy once posted a picture of his girlfriend on FB and the comment section was filled with bile and trash. Some people who didn't know the girl in question went commenting on how ugly she was. One guy in particular (apparently he was the girl's first boyfriend) went into a tale of how he hit it first. Poor girl. Something that could have been avoided if the guy had kept his girlfriend off his Facebook page. You can't assume because you are sane, everyone is. On these social media streets, there are lots of ndi ara and ndi iro roaming freely. Trust me on this one. Do you really want to give them room to scrutinise and even prey on boo?



2) You Can't Quarrel In Peace:

Every relationship has its ups and downs. It's not all lovey-dovey all the time. You are not dating a saint.Sometimes you can get mad at boo. Some other times, boo gets mad at you. The problem is when boo is all over your social media platforms and you guys fight, every post seems like a sub. You post one small stuff and everyone is all up in your FB messenger or DM asking you if you and XYZ are okay. Something no one would have known if you had kept him/her out of the spotlight. Someone like me who likes to be mischievous, how will I keep explaining what I mean every second? Ain't nobody gat time for that mbok.

3) It's Super Awkward When You Break Up:

When love is 'shacking' us and sense is leaving our body, we cannot imagine ever breaking up with the one we love. No one falls in love hoping to break up. We sincerely hope and believe he/she will be 'the one'. But let's face it, shit happens. Nothing is guaranteed. That is why I always tell those who care to listen to tone it down a bit with the public declarations of love/ flaunting of relationships when we are hopelessly in love. You may not like what I will say next but I will still say it: YOU ARE NOT MARRIED UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED. I know you love boo and you want to scream it to the mountain tops, but my brothers and sisters in the Lord, some small ako na uche di necessary.

Before you go flooding your timeline with cute, pouty pictures of you and boo loving up, remember that if you do break up, it will be super awkward. Are you going to keep deleting pictures with each new relationship? Why not save yourself and the next boo the torture by keeping private stuffs private? Someone I know missed an opportunity with a super amazing chic as a result of this same public declaration of love. At the heat of his love for a certain sisi, lover boy went on his Facebook page to address his sisi as 'Mrs (his surname) and to tell her that if for some reason they don't marry, no one will ever take her place in his heart. Well, they broke up some years later. But you know Internet never forgets. The lover boy met someone else and the girl went through his page and saw the said declaration. Suffice it to say that no amount of sweet talking could change new girl's mind. My guy is still in regrets till date.

It doesn't make it less of love if the whole world doesn't know about it. The irony is that sometimes, we are all lovey-dovey on social media but far from it in real life. Who do we want to impress anyways?

There you have it. Next time you wonder why 'the lucky guy' is never seen on my timeline, remember these 3 points.

P.S: where do you sha stand? Are you ‪#‎TeamIfYouGotItFlauntIt or‪#‎TeamItsNoOnesBusiness? I will like to know.


XoXo
NAWTIprof